My thoughts, my life
by Cin70
Summary: This short fic is in Bumblebee's POV talking about some of the people in his life and he's feelings about them,no slash. Then there is that conversation he has with Optimus on the carrier while heading back to base.Please enjoy!


**This is a short fic that came to mind a few weeks ago. It's about Bee and he's thoughts on his life. Sorry I've been to busy lately and not posted any of my edited chapters to the other stories. Disclaimer as before I don't own any of the characters they belong to Hasbro, DreamWorks and Paramount studios. **

**11-23-09**

**Corrections here too! They were made little mistakes I found.**

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**As I set here on the deck of the carrier as we head back to the states, I look up and watch the sun set over the Pacific Ocean. So much has happen, from Sam leaving for college, to Optimus loosing the fight to Megatron in the forest, to the battle in Egypt and while there nearly loosing two more people I deeply care about. When I first came to Earth in search for the Allspark I was alone and very confused and yet enjoyed being here. It was a different world I had never known, humans have so many different ways to express themselves through music, arts and visually. I really can't explain my friendship with Sam, it's just like I've known him all my life. We would be around the same age if I were to be a human, I guess that is one of the reasons we grew to trust each other. We like the same kind of music, the same taste in femmes and he and I even like to watch the same TV shows; he even put a small TV in the garage for me and him to watch them together. I guess what got me so upset when he told me he was going off to college and I couldn't go with him was the fact he was the first friend here that I could relax a bit with and enjoy the life this world gave me and didn't want him to leave me behind. Yes I had Optimus and the others but, Sam and I enjoyed doing things together. Like taking off jamming to our favorite tunes and driving to our favorite high out overlooking the city to watch the stars, to cruising around town with Mikaela. I enjoyed taking them to the mall or to the movies or out to eat. I like the ideal of a normal life they lead verses the one I lead of war, death and no place to call home. So When Sam was leaving to go to College and I was not going with him I was hurt and couldn't understand. I felt that our friendship we developed over the past few years would end with him going on without me there not to mention I felt that he wouldn't be safe if I were not around to protect him.**

**By the time the others and I made it to the forest I drove up just in time to see Optimus fall down from being stabbed through the back with Megatrons' Blade and the horrid look on his face that I was there to see him fall and the fear he must have know I was going through imaging him not there as our leader and friend. Ironhide had screamed he's name and ran to his side then yelling at me to get Sam out of here, leave do not turn around. I didn't want to leave behind my leader/mentor but, I knew Sam was not going to be safe if did not leave then. As I drove away from the forest as fast as I couldn't get Optimus to answer over the comm link, I knew he was dead or in induced stasis lockdown, kind of like a deep coma for humans. It was all I could do now and that was to run away and hide with Sam. Hours later as I took Sam and Mikaela to see a friend which lead us to former Agent Simmons, I received data burst of information from Ironhide. He had finally told me of the truth of my sparklinghood and what had happen to my real creators.**

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**I was to young to know who my creators were or remember them at all. Ironhide told me that they were killed, that Optimus and Elita found me after a battle in the Southwest quadrant of Iacon under a pile of rubble scared and alone. Optimus and Elita were there for me and I will always have admiration for them both and some how thought they were my real parent units but they never told me, now as I read quietly the data Ironhide sent me I discover the truth that Optimus and Elita did adopt me and he said in the data he sent to me, **

"**Optimus and Elita loved you as if you were their own. They felt that war, as we all did by then, had made a turn for the worse. That to bring a sparkling into the world then would only give Megatron a leveraged against them."**

**I went on to read what Ironhide said,**

"**When they found you they knew it was for a reason and that you would be the hope for the next generation, Bee, Optimus may have not shared with you as much as you would think a creator or as the humans say, 'parents' should but, he couldn't. If anyone else besides me ever found out about you, Megatron would have known as well. He would have surely have killed you at Tyger Pax." **

**He also said, **

"**Bee he wanted me to tell you this if something ever happened to him he wanted you to know. Don't be sad, we must remember what Optimus would have want and that was to go on with life and make it a better place, till all is one. Love you always your guardian, Ironhide."**

**I somehow knew this was true I have always felt it in my spark. I remember him from my earliest years and he and Elita were always there for me. I remember some times setting on Optimus lap during weekly meetings with his officers cause I would pout, whine and begged to go with him. How when he and Elita would play games with me or he get down on he's hands and knees and chase me around the living area of our quarters when I was still very young and little. I never grew very big but what I didn't have in size I made up for in speed and my quickness. Other times I remember they both Opitmus and Elita would take me out on field trips to other cities as they both lead important roles as leaders shortly before the war took a turned for the worse, then I was never taken out of the city or allowed to leave it. But as I grew older and the destruction of our planet from the war became intensified I felt more distant from him. He was home less and less and I was spending more time away with other sparklings near or close to my age for safety reasons. Attachment to me could have cause more harm than good but it wasn't until I was much older that I understood that. Too, I never allowed to called him father or her mother it was Optimus or Elita. I grew confused and scared again as I was when I was a very young sparkling and began to hate this war. Optimus saw that or at least I know after what Ironhide told me he did and Ironhide said that it often bother Optimus that I was so lonely and that it left Optiums feeling helpless. Ironhide said that Optimus grew up the same way, he's creators were murdered and Ironhide became his guardian. I never did understand why I saw less and less of Optimus and he's affection for me as I grew older that is until now. Yet while he did kept me in his inner circled of officers, it seem however that was as close as I was to ever going to be to him. But through the years and as know as a grown mech, my admiration for him never wavered though. As I grew older my time was spent more around the twins Sunstreaker and Sideswipe alone with Jazz. I learned my prankster ways from the terrible twins as they were nicknamed. They were a few years older and I would often be with them as we would play tricks on the officers cause we couldn't really leave base and go no where. Optimus was the but of their pranks as was Prowl I guess looking back I can see why. They both were never cutting up and having any fun like the rest of them, even Ironhide got into a prank with us on Prowl and Optimus many times just to make the subborned mechs laugh and take there minds off of what ever they were doing for the moment. That was when Ironhide had removed several reports from Optimus desk computer and replaced them with different data than so that the ones that Prowl had on his reports and his were both were different from the filed reports from the other officers. It took a week for them both to figure that one out! Optimus was pissed though, he had to personally go out and talk to each officer and there was three hundred of them between the two of them and ask for another copy of a filed report cause of a computer glitch. Jazz, now he and I were close. He was the one who got me out of my shell and help me to reach my potential. He taught me 'street smarts' and about life, he always had a positive outlook on life and just ran with whatever came his way. I regarded him as an older brother you might say, when Optimus and the others were away on a mission I often came to him and stayed with him. He was the one who would sneak me out of the base and was the one who introduced me to Arcee who was the same age as I was and to this day are still the best of friends. I will always miss him for his boldness and he's approach on life, he died way to soon.**

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**My training came from Ironhide and he was hard and tough but now I am glad that my guardian was there to help me learn to survive. Elita was there mostly when I was very young; she would be there in the middle of the night when I had nightmares or to read me a bed time story. If I was sick it was Optimus who worried about me while Elita argue over my needs with Ratchet; I guess she just wanted to make sure that I wasn't suffering any more misery than I had already dealt with in my young life. I can remember seeing Optimus laugh some when I was young, I don't see that any more now as of lately. I think back on more memories some make me laugh and others sad. The real last time I got to talk with him was after Sam decide to go off to college with out me that, when Sam told me he felt the guardian thing was over. As I said earlier I didn't understand so I came back to the base and asking Optimus why and in his understanding way he told me.**

"**Bee, Sam has to do this for himself and to prove he is a grown man now. Humans or all sentinel beings for that matter have to make a living somehow and here on earth the best education offers the best possible career in life to do that."**

**He paused looking at me as I turned my head and then he went on to say too,**

"**He doesn't want to end your friendship with him, it's just he wants a normal life. It's true Bee you and he would be about the same age if you were human and staying there in the garage at the Witwicky's home would do more harm than good for you."**

**He surprisingly reach out and pick me up as he did when I was young and gave me a bear hug and then set me down then he placed his finger under my chin making me look up and he said, **

"**It's time you moved on with you life too, we all needed to adjust to living here now. I will be here always old friend, you have always known that."**

**He smiled at me then turned around and left, I heard as he just did that a government official was coming into the hanger to talk with him along with the Pentagon via satellite.**

**After talking with Optimus that day I think I begin to understand. I know for sure now after the battle and before we even left Egypt that Sam understands me more as I him and that we will always be friends. But for all that I have in learned the past days, I was not expecting that conversation with Optimus. Why I don't know but I realized afterwards I did need to finally hear it from him.**

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**THE CONVERSATION ON THE CARRIER SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN**

The sun has set and the sounds of heavy steps off in a distance bring me back to the world around me. I didn't expect to see him up and about so soon but like me Optimus hates being still in one place for to long, especially stuck in the med bay with our beloved hatchet.

"Bumblebee," Optimus said but sounded horse and weak and not looking he's usual self but, who would be after what he's been though.

I turned to see him walking slowly towards me with a serious look on his face, I took in a deep breath and weakly answer, "Yes, sir."

He kindly of half smiled through the pain on his face as he lowered himself down slowly to set next to me and said,

"Bumblebee, we need to talk. I need to share something with you," he said to me.

"Yes sir, I've been wanting to talk to you too," I replied via the comm link since my throat still is sore and has not mended yet.

We then both looked up at each other surprisingly and he gestured with his hand and said, "well then Bee, you first."

I took in a deep breath and looked up to the stars and then looked back at him and said in my real voice,

"Who were my real creators?"

He bowed his head knowing I now knew. I quickly spoke up before he could answer and said via comm link,

"Why didn't you tell me what I felt all along, I mean I always looked up to you but until a couple of days ago never really knew why."

He looked up to the stars and then looked at me and said,

"If I had told you or anyone other than Ironhide, Megatron would have surely killed you at the battle of Tyger Pax."

He paused to reach out to me placing a hand on my shoulder and said too,

"My son, if you asked before now I would have told you, I love you and so does Elita. We couldn't lose you to Megatron that is why, I hope you understand," he slowly said with heavy remorse in his voice.

Yes I said to myself, I just wanted to hear him say it. We sat there for what seem like hours but really only a few minutes passed before he spoke again.

"Bee, I can't make up for the times I wasn't there nor for the times I should have shown more affection and time with you. I can however tell you that I regretted it. Seeing you grow up so lonely and longing for the meaning of what a family would be in your life, I too was an orphan."

I was shocked, I never knew he was a orphan too! I learned from history his father was the great Sentinel Prime but, that was all that I knew.

"I thought Sentinel was your father?" I asked him then saw his optics closed and I asked him, "Optimus, are you okay?"

He opened his optics and looked at me and said,

"Yes my little one I am fine and yes Sentinel found me alone just as I found you and he raised me as I have you."

He smiled and patted me on the head gently as I remember as a youngling and went to stand up slowly but painfully.

"I was just remembering back about two years ago when we met Agent Simmons that night," he said chuckling to himself.

"Yea," I said sheepishly and looked away knowing what he was going to say or at least thought I knew.

"He well was rude and was what the humans say, pissing me off so, I just ah!" I popped off and said quickly.

Optimus broke out laughing so much that he was bent over holding on to his sides then a few seconds later after he regained himself he stated,

"Ow, it really hurts to laugh, well at least you didn't harm the human but, don't ever do that again no matter how confusing or annoying they are okay!"

He said and then straighten up a bit and said, "Remember we are there guest but did you here about what Major Lennox did to Galloway?"

I looked at him and answered in my natural voice, "No, what."

He smiled and almost started to laugh again but smiled instead saying that,

"I have been told that he was parachuted from a plane somewhere in the middle of the desert of Egypt and was none happy about being strand. I personally thanked Major Lennox earlier though and told him I own him one he said to me,

"No, Optimus he had it coming to him for coming here in the first place. I just decided to get him out of my way and you would have done the same for me shoot, I owned him one for the way he talked to you in that impromptu meeting of his anyways, what are friends for huh."

I smiled back at him as we started to walk back towards the elevator to go below when suddenly I saw him winced upon hearing Ratchet screaming from the other side of the carrier at him, "you better get back to that berth and lay down before I put you down, youngling!"

I chuckled a bit as he walked on and mumbled something and then I said, "I love you too, father."

He stopped and turned around and looked shock but pleased and smiled back at me then hugged me and said,

"Thank you for understanding and yes I love you too son. Now if I don't get back to the berth and lay back down our beloved Hatchet is going to discover the human mid evil tool and use it on me."

With that I saw him wince again at Ratchets yelling and getting closer,

"Yes Ratchet, I am on my way," Optimus said then mumbled something else and the last part of what he say I did hear and it was, "your next!"

I thought to myself as I walked behind him so Ratchet is about to learn how to fly hummm!

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Okay you like? Cute story, I thought you might like it.


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